Wednesday, September 17, 2008


So. All you mommies out there... how would you define contractions? Does a hand or foot stuck in your hip socket count? What about pulsing belly buttons? If you could *safely* levitate on your hard-as-a-rock belly with no hand or foot support, would such an ability - accompanied by intense pain - count as being "in labor"?

Why is it that I can't recall the exact feeling of a true contraction? I understood it perfectly well with my first two. No false alarms. No anti-climatic trips to the hospital. What is it about this pregnancy that has me second-guessing my instincts...

It's all your fault, Nurse Stumpy-Fingers. Really - how do you confuse the top of a head with an elbow? And do you *enjoy* causing pain and extreme discomfort or is that just one of your *talents*?

Oh, Dr. Brother Steven Nelson of Scottsdale, AZ .... oh how I miss your ultra-cool bedside manner and true understanding of an uncomfortable pregnant woman. If I could, I would fly myself back to AZ and beg, beg, BEG you to deliver my little Samantha. Hayden's birth was quite possibly the most glorious and super-ideal birth.
{but not the part where I puke up a bite of a Snickers bar - but that wasn't your fault. I stole it from my hubby minutes after the pitocin... totally my own doing...}

But I digress... pray for a baby this week. I can't take it anymore.


Karen said...

I think we get more braxton hicks type contractions with each pregnancy. They are annoying and love to make us think it could be the real thing and then they stop. Don't be too angry with them. They are also doing some work. It's good prep work. They make things smoother and quicker when it really is the real thing. Your body is preparing for it's amazing feat it is about to accomplish.

I promise you that when they are the real...get me to a professional NOW...kind of contractions you will really know. I promise. I swear. Really*. And when they come you will calmly tell your old man, "this is it" and he will probably freak out, but you will be calm because this time you really really know. And you will have to threaten to slap him. But don't.

Oh, this is so exciting! I wish I could have seen this baby bump! Sophie was asking if Amanda could come to her sleepover birthday party next month. I had to remind her that you moved.

*Unless you really can't tell. Then never mind. What do I know anyway!

Amy said...

Well, that actually makes me feel better... sort of. 'Cause we live kinda far away from the hospital and the freeways that get you there are notorious for bad traffic, bad accidents and impromptu birthing centers in back seats of cars. And I really don't want the cop who gave my hubby a ticket last week delivery my baby.

I'm off to clean our whirlpool tub just in case I decide to go granola and have a water birth. Hahahaha! Water birth...r.i.g.h.t.

Becky said...

That last sentence totally proved that we are sisters. Not like anyone was trying to disprove it or anything.


I TOTALLY puked up a snickers bar while I was in labor with Connor because I begged Mike to get it for me. And then the nurses were freaking out because I didn't want to fess up to eating during labor...and wanted to know why I was puking brown chunks.



Kristy said...

I hope she gets here sooner. I remember how miserable I was, and I wouldn't wish that for anyone!!!

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Amy, she'll be here soon!!!

The Meryhews said...

What an exciting time! Enjoy the moments.

Lara said...

Hey Amy! I am totally praying for your little girl to emerge safe and sound this week! You definitely sound done :)
Lara N from LDSMoms


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