Being Sick

I am sick.

I can't stand being sick, but being prego and sicko and having this vein thing/alien growing out of the side of my leg is totally debilitating me. Add to that Hayden, AKA GREMLIN is up to his old tricks and has now caused the malfunctioning of the door locks on the kids bedroom and bathroom doors... which happen to be upstairs... far, far away from the comfort of my living room sofa. So I have been making a gazillion more trips up the stairs than I normally would to rescue him from the baby-eating dresser drawers, soap drawings on the bathroom floor that have trapped him in a *stand up, fall on butt* sequence, and the play make-up that belongs to his big sister.

Put up a gate you say? Oh please, do I really need to re-educate you all about the advanced mechanical and just plain brute force skills of my 18 month old Weapon of Mass Destruction? In great desperation I did attempt to put up a gate. 5 minutes later after much banging and wailing the gate came tumbling down the stairs in 2 pieces.

But alas, all this whining and griping will soon be over, for my knight in shining armor will come home in less than 4 hours and install new locks on the doors. I know he will do this without a complaint because he is completely aware that it is all his fault. Hayden got his advanced dexterity and mischievousness from his father - and his father, I am certain, received the "mothers' curse" that all naughty children receive at times of critical frustration. You know the one. "I hope you have a son as naughty and yadda yadda yadda as you!"

I will try to find something to be grateful for today... Okay. I am SUPER grateful to have my friend Carlee for a babysitter. My kids love her - probably more than they love me at the moment - and she loves my kids... And I am grateful the have the gospel in our lives. And I think it's very sad when wolves in sheep clothing use tricker and lies to *teach* people about Jesus Christ and how to be saved (according to the word of the Wolf). It's just wrong in so many ways and if I wasn't hired as the photographer at the wedding where said Wolf went off on a 45 minute sermon/born again revival extravaganza, I might have confronted this quack with a few choice words of my own - but I was STARVING and tired and working my way back towards being a quiet, tolerant person... and I REALLY, REALLY needed chocolate.

(...sorry for the rant)


So like I said, I am grateful for the gospel and for knowing the truth... and chocolate.

Ever get that *feeling*?

I've been having this feeling lately - for the past 2 weeks to be exact - that sinking feeling like my world is going to change drastically in the near future. I've had similar feelings in the past - like 2 hours before my grandmother died (me in Maryland, grandma in Utah) I just had this feeling that made me start crying without a clue as to why. Then again, I also had this feeling when I was living in one of the ghettos of Baltimore and my mom was visiting...and nothing happened.

This time it's more of a "when is the other shoe going to drop" feeling along with a what if this happens - what will we do? I don't like feeling like this. I won't say that I don't like surprises, it's just that I have grown to sort of dread them because I never react the way I know I should react to them... it's always sort of an afterthought well after the damage is done where I think, "Oh - this was a good lesson." or "I really could have handled that differently and not hurt so and so..."

If hindsight is 20/20 what is foresight...nearsightedness?