Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Used and Abused

I guess you could say I've been feeling a little used and abused lately. I've done my share of punching back, mind you, but it's not like it made me feel any better... I'm at a bit of a crossroads where neither path will be traveled painlessly and that has made me very anxious (as in panic attacks AGAIN....yay). I honestly don't know what to do. Following my instincts and sitting tight believing "this too shall pass" did not work... in fact it probably made things worse. So, now that I have finally taken some action to defend/clear my name it's too late - I'm yelling into an empty auditorium.

I wish my hubby wasn't on a business trip - I could really use his listening ear. I guess I really will have to handle this on my own and just continue praying for guidance. So far my prayers have been answered with messages from the Ensign and one particular blog post that has lifted me just a bit. But I still see no end to the distrust I have for some who I used to call my friends and will now have to endure seeing at least once a week.. I have to find peace and strength and humility and balance them perfectly.

Yeah.... I know.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. If you ever need a listening ear I am here.

Alecia said...

Stay strong, I know you can do it!

Alissa said...

if you ever need to talk about it, i'm more than willing to do just that.

Amy G, said...

Thanks Jessica. Right now, in my head it's so complicated... though I'm sure in the end it all comes down to a single misunderstanding.

Alecia - thanks for distracting me for a few moments today with those swell pictures of Colorado snow.

Alissa - another time, another place.

I really hope it was a knee-jerk reaction to something that was totally misunderstood.

Carlee said...

Call me anytime, I'm sorry things aren't going well. I love you Amy, hang in there!!!

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