I guess you could say I've been feeling a little used and abused lately. I've done my share of punching back, mind you, but it's not like it made me feel any better... I'm at a bit of a crossroads where neither path will be traveled painlessly and that has made me very anxious (as in panic attacks AGAIN....yay). I honestly don't know what to do. Following my instincts and sitting tight believing "this too shall pass" did not work... in fact it probably made things worse. So, now that I have finally taken some action to defend/clear my name it's too late - I'm yelling into an empty auditorium.
I wish my hubby wasn't on a business trip - I could really use his listening ear. I guess I really will have to handle this on my own and just continue praying for guidance. So far my prayers have been answered with messages from the Ensign and one particular blog post that has lifted me just a bit. But I still see no end to the distrust I have for some who I used to call my friends and will now have to endure seeing at least once a week.. I have to find peace and strength and humility and balance them perfectly.
Yeah.... I know.