Last night I felt frustrated and stupid while my attention was being torn between two things. I chose to abandon both because I could feel the tears coming and I didn’t understand why I was getting so emotional. I cried on my bed and felt defeated but needed to pull myself together. I went to the mirror and wiped my tears and looked up and saw your eyes instead of mine. Bright clear blue… and I knew you were there with me.
I miss you mom. I wish I could visit your grave or do something in your memory for Mothers Day. I can’t be at your grave but I hope you know and understand that my heart is full and with you today as I write these words for you.
Today I will give each of my kids an extra hug from you.
Today I will tell Amanda the story about the time you let me play hooky from school and took me to the mall instead, just because you wanted to spend time with me. I’ll tell her about how you always stood up for me, even though it was sometimes embarrassing.
Today I will show all the kids pictures of you and we’ll sing some of your favorite Primary songs.
Today I’ll hope you are looking down at us smiling and laughing and falling in love with Samantha’s big personality, Hayden’s silly sense of humor and Amanda’s growing gracefulness.
Today I’ll try not to cry so much and instead be grateful to have my sweet children who remind me of you in different ways everyday.
I love you, Mom. Happy Mothers Day!